Reasons why women fake orgasms, the researcher ended up in a number of conversations with women about whether or not they "faked." Some women said, "Of course, who doesn’t fake?" while others were shocked at the thought—"Women should demand an orgasm!" they said.
When digging a little deeper, many of these women grounded their actions in their beliefs about gender. Narratives of "men should," or "men do," and "women have to," or "women should" frequently emerged. Of course, if a partner does not know a clitoris from a thigh, then the likelihood of a woman faking her orgasm will skyrocket
1. Faking to Keep a Partner
Evolutionary psychology explains the phenomenon of faking orgasm as a "mate retention strategy," whereby orgasms are valued by men, and so women in heterosexual relationships will fake their orgasm to satisfy their partner2. In doing so, women are hoping to "retain" their partner.
Support for this explanation was found in this most recent study—the women who thought their partners were more likely to cheat on them were more likely to have faked an orgasm with their partner.
2. Faking to Sexually Satisfy a Partner
But what role does gender play? In the study, researchers looked at how specific beliefs about gender and sex might be associated with faking an orgasm.
They found that if a woman thinks that, in general, men need their partner to orgasm to be sexually satisfied, she is more likely to fake her orgasm. This is perhaps not surprising, but it is worth discussing because it is wrapped up in the idea that men should care about their partner’s pleasure.
Most feminists would agree that a man should know a clitoris from a thigh, and of course, most heterosexual men do. In addition, most feminists would agree that men shouldn’t be selfish in bed—they should be attuned to what their partner wants.
However, what this recent finding shows is that there is a difference between wanting a partner to experience orgasm for the sake of their own pleasure, without pressure, and needing a partner to orgasm in order to feel satisfied. And this difference can be the difference between a real and a fake orgasm for a woman.
3. Faking for Lack of a Reason Not To
In addition to these specific beliefs about gender and sex, the study also measured broad gender attitudes that have nothing to do with the bedroom, but that can guide our interactions with others based on their gender. For example, a "hostile" gender belief is that women are overly sensitive and defensive. A more traditional gender belief is that women should be doted on, and cherished by men. These beliefs can operate in the back of our minds to guide how we interact with men and women.
References
Harris, E. A., Hornsey, M. J., Larsen, H. F., & Barlow, F. K. (2019). Beliefs About Gender Predict Faking Orgasm in Heterosexual Women. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 1-15.
Ellsworth, R. M., & Bailey, D. H. (2013). Human female orgasm as evolved signal: A test of two hypotheses. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42, 1545–1554.
https ://doi.org/10.1007/s1050 8-013-0152-7.
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